Imagine this: Imagine waking up starving, making a great big breakfast, and sitting down to your inbox to see what’s conspired since you last checked.
Part of me must have known rejection was coming, because I don’t usually have chocolate like that at breakfast. To put it blunt: I got my very first rejection letter for my book proposal.
Where to begin? I absolutely know what a difficult and long process writing a book is. I guess part of me was just really upset that they turned me down within 14 hours of me sending it to them. I thought a real, professional publisher would wait 3 weeks before touching my email, then read it and reject it in less than 20 minutes; I wasn’t prepared for things to move so quickly.
And I’ve never been one of those people to think about printing out the rejection letter, pinning it up on the wall and being “motivated and inspired by it”. That’s crazy! Rejection sucks. I hate the sting of rejection. It’s why I hardly ever put myself out there in other areas of life. It’s why I like writing ridiculously sarcastic posts instead of serious ones. Who the hell is motivated by rejection?!
I’m not saying I’m not used to rejection; I’m just saying that I don’t deal with it well. Ever. As in, I really wanted to send a horribly sarcastic and rude email back with a smiley face at the end(didn’t, but really wanted to). I guess those are the sort of habits you pick up when your role models are insult comics.
So how did I deal with rejection this time?
I ate a Perfect Foods peanut butter bar and went for a run. I figured doing something outdoors and listening to music would help me with my thoughts. At the very least, I’m glad it took me away from the computer, because one way not to deal with rejection is to write things in public places without thinking them through(haven’t we all done that before).
But let’s get serious; this is how I really dealt with my rejections:
Come on. Own up, meat eaters and vegans alike. I love animals, too, but bacon heals all wounds.
And when you fry chickpeas in bacon fat, add some onion powder and sea salt, and get it all nice and crispy, that’s magic. Along with one Dahlicious alphonso mango lassi, because that makes it all healthy, right? Could I have added bacon to that, too?
So that’s how I deal with rejection: Blogging with a bitterly sarcastic tone.
How do you deal with rejection?
awesome post. just what I needed to read, as I got a big huge ugly rejection today too, that totally broke my heart!
I shall now go heal it with bacon!
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Hi Evan,
I gotta tell ya, I’ve been lurking around for a little while. I like reading a foodie blog from the guy’s perspective. Anyhoo, I saw your post and had to comment. As the daughter of a romance writer, I know all about rejection from publishers. Maybe not firsthand, but enough to know, and rejection sucks in any form. I know you know this, but you just have to keep plugging away. My mother has had over 100 books published, and even to this day when she gets a rejection I know it bugs her. My point is, all great authors have been rejected. So consider yourself an official writer/author to be. Sorry this is so long, but just wanted to add that if you ever want to email my mother, she’s more than happy to share her experiences. Just let me know and I’ll direct you to her site. Keep at it, you’ll get there
PS- I did say I love your blog right??
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I don’t handle rejection very well, so all I can really say is chin up and keep moving on. Not everyone is bound to love you or your ideas. That’s just a fact of life. Whatever you do, don’t give up.
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aw, I’m sorry Evan! There will be a publisher out there for you.
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haha, sounds like a good way to deal if you ask me!
Just change the title and send it in again next month… ha
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Writing and getting published are far harder than people imagine. Another blogger I sometimes read wrote a book…its been years and nothing. And she is a good writer.
I’m not saying people should not follow their dreams…but I think if a person loves to write, they have to write for themselves and their own desires and not for exterior motives.
Of course…I want a book deal too (big time)…but I actually need to …umm…write something…I fail at that (when life is a mess, its hard to straighten out the mind, ha).
You are a writer.
You write on a blog.
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Hang in there, Evan. All great writers have been rejected a time or two. I have a friend who got an email rejection 1 hour after she sent it.
Rejection stings, and it sucks big time, but you never know what might happen tomorrow or the next day.
With that being said, I don’t deal with rejection well, either. Chocolate has healing properties and I’ve put it to the test on many occasions.
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I’m so sorry, Evan! But you’re right – rejection is simply part of the process. Now the first (and maybe only!) one is over with.
Unfortunately I don’t deal with rejection well at all. Going for a long, reflective walk definitely helps…if I don’t get my hands on some chocolate first!
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I’m so sorry you had to go through the horrible feeling of rejection, Evan – I completely agree with you, it’s devastating, not motivating at all! Your chickpeas and bacon look like an awesome cure, though – I agree, bacon can cure most yucky days!
Good for you for persevering and going on a great run – I applaud all of your “coping” methods, especially this wonderfully written post… I don’t deal with rejection well at all, but I usually try to cope by spending time with good friends who I know will cheer me up… 
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Rejection– ugh. SUCH a huge part of my life as a creative writer. I’m used to sending out batches of poems every month, so I generally have five or six rejection slips coming to me in the mail every couple of months. Fun stuff. Of course, as much as it sucks, persistence is key. For every 10 poems that get rejected, one gets published, and that makes it all worthwhile (until the next stack of rejections comes along, that is, ha). Just remember, while the easy thing is to think, “They hate my idea; I suck as a writer,” there could be a WHOLE host of other reasons for the rejection.
Keep trying, friend!
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Wow. That was a fast rejection. But as writers it’s something that happens and we just have to deal with. It’s part of the process. You will find a publisher for your book!
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You will totally get a book deal Evan! I know it…just be patient!!!
Besides I know I will definitely buy it and I am going to want it autogrpahed!! 
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BACONBACONBACON! I feel like a hungry dog now. YUMYUMYUM.
I think the best way to deal with rejection is to realize that that’s only one of the doors available to you, not THE only one. And I honestly believe that we’re all supposed to do what we were meant to do, we just have to keep looking.
That publisher wasn’t the right fit, but that just means you keep looking for another one.
Persistence always prevails.
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Keep trudging darling! Great writers get rejected. Great musicians get rejected. Great actors get rejected and more and more and more. My point is one rejection will not make or break you or your career.
Because of my perfectionism, I am one of those people who would pin up the rejection letter and use it as motivation, but that’s just me. Use this and see where you might need to tweak your proposal or research other publishers that might collide more with your idea. If you want this enough, it’ll happen. Go give up!!!
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Don’t worry! You’re a seriously talented writer with a great idea…just keep at it and someone smart will pick up your proposal and say this guy’s on to something. I hate rejection too but I think I found the trick (at least for me)..putting yourself in many positions where you can be rejected at once. It doesn’t seem that bad when it’s that ridiculous and what are the odds of you getting rejected from EVERYTHING you set your sights on?
P.S. confession: I’ve never had bacon in my life and I’m not even a vegetarian. One of these days I gotta try the stuff…
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Oh Evan, I am so sorry! You know I am with you on this. I haven’t even proposed anything, but I know rejection will happen first! Keep your chin up and know that we are all behind you here!
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Chin up:
Kate DiCamillo’s first published novel, Because of Winn-Dixie, won a Newbery Honor in 2001. That book became a Hollywood film. In 2004 DiCamillo’s book, The Tale of Despereaux, received the coveted Newbery Medal, which virtually means that the book will stay in print.
But Kate DiCamillo’s success did not happen overnight. For roughly a decade, before the public knew her name, DiCamillo worked odd jobs, submitted manuscripts, and collected nearly 400 rejection letters. “I decided a long time ago,” DiCamillo says, “that I didn’t have to be talented. I just had to be persistent.”
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aww, Evan! I too am horrible at dealing with rejection. But honestly, even though it sounds cheesy, you deserve major props for putting yourself out there in the first place! And seriously, give yourself credit: you are such an accomplished blogger, which is no easy feat! I’m still in the is-anyone-out-there-even-reading-this phase, so I have all kinds of admiration and respect for my blogging idols–of which you are one! plus, as t.s. eliot so aptly put it, “some editors are failed writers…but so are most writers.” don’t give up! you rock!
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ARe you kidding me?!
Kid – consider yourself lucky they even wrote you back – wow!!! Did you email them or something? Cause that’s stellar.
Even the bestest Authors got rejected a million times over…Einstein was told he was stupid (paraphrased
)…ahem, anyhow…
REAL Rejection is getting rejected from a job that you were depending on …and now wondering how your going to pay your bills and where your going to live – that’s rejection…
So yah – we all have to suck it up…
Keep writing. You are a writer and as long as you believe in yourself that’s all that matters.
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well, evan, if you wanna know about rejection you’ve come to the expert. my life has been ALL ABOUT rejection – actors are rejected 95% of the time and it’s just part of the job. sometimes it’s hard not to take personally, especially when you want it so badly. but the best thing we can do is accept that it’s a reality, and rejection in the book world is a reality as well.
here’s what you should know – everyone does business differently, everyone has different opinions. you just keep on keeping on. because that 5% of the time when you’re not being rejected, if you LOVE IT more than anything else in the world, it’ll be worth it.
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I’ll be honest–the reason I gave up on a career as a journalist was that I couldn’t take the rejection. I just don’t have enough self-confidence to take that kind of rejection every day.
I usually deal with rejection in a similar way to you–I serve up a big ole dish of sarcasm and act like I don’t care.
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I could write the book on rejection. Why did I try to get into this impossible industry again? I am a big believer in things working out for the best. You were rejected because this wasn’t the right publisher for you! You WILL get hooked up with the right one and I WILL be asking for an autograph on my copy!
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So right about the bacon. Its one of the only things I miss, the soy stuff never quite measures up.
Good luck with the next try!
I wish I could do something witty and sarcastic- usually I end up running, pigging out, and/or reading.
All I’ve gotta say is, you BETTER get your book published- I’ve tried some of your recipes on here, and they’ve all turned out absolutely delicious- you are definitely talented and deserve a book deal. Don’t let one publisher get you down
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Aw man, I’m sorry! Rejection is all part of the process unfortunately. Be persistent and I have no doubt you’ll land that book deal!! I’ll definitely be buying a copy too.
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Eugh…sorry about the rejection letter. I’ve found that being rejected only makes acceptance sweeter. It’s tough to keep on trying, but if you look at a lot of “great” people, their amazing discoveries or inventions or lives all came from perseverance. When I get rejected, it just takes time for me to wrap my head around it. But it’s totally better to remove yourself from the situation for a little while so you don’t blow over, haha…
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Aww I’m sorry about the book proposal. Don’t get discouraged, you will definitely find someone to accept it in the near future.
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I’m so sorry about the rejection, Evan. I reject proposals for a living (except when I pursue them), so I consider myself, oh, something of a pro in this department. Thus, I can tell you with authority that this is a tough publishing environment and it’s harder than ever to publish even a worthy project. Don’t be discouraged, and do realize that most agents will take longer than four hours to respond — though in fairness, sometimes publishers and agents do actually read things with thoughtfulness that quickly!
xo
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Hi Evan,
I just wanted to offer my support. I listened to this GREAT amazing motivational speaker once aboug CERTAINTY. He was CERTAIN he would succeed, but told himself that he would have 100 rejections before he did. That way he expected to succeed, and it didn’t hurt as much. I don’t deal well with rejection AT ALL. I was recently watching an old episode of MTV cribs, and they had an artist show her framed letter of her first rejection. She is a huge star now! Look at how many recent ‘finds’ have worked hard to make it! Actors, etc. You will make it. BE CERTAIN and make your mind set reflect that!
Barbara
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