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I’m not sure what’s to be said about a 35 year old woman on crack/cocaine trapped in 15 year old boy’s body. And I’ll admit: I had a really good laugh at(and not with) him throughout it all. But where’s the joke? That kid, whoever the hell he is, is clearly more famous than I and well on his way in life. And he is freakishly well-composed. I’m sure if I were on The Today Show, I’d let an F-bomb slide; I’m not that classy.
I eat dinners from cans sometimes. And that’s OK. The genius of it all? I ate 1/2 a cold potato topped with salt while I was “cooking” this. I know: I’m a catch.
And I eat my weight in chocolates, oatmeal, and peanut butter after dinner. Hell if I’m on my way to dropping 15 pounds and hell if I have to.
And I’m still far from LA or NYC or anywhere with lights or cameras making a humble breakfast with a pantry full of jams and nut butters like dark chocolate raspberry jam, butter toffee peanut butter, and local raw honey. So where’s the joke?
At the end of this all, methinks I need to a) update my vocab from “methinks” and b) get my act together. How so? Well, there’s 1 project I’ve been trying to work at but pausing a lot: writing a book. Believe it or not, I’ve done this once. Well, if you want to get technical(which I don’t), I wrote a 13,000 word, 70-page thesis entitled Not The Happy Ending Story: A Look At Mark Antony’s Failure To Become Imperator After Caesar’s Death. I’ll pause for all the thrill and excitement to pass…(By the way, if anyone were to buy that for $6.06, I guarantee you I wouldn’t see a cent of that money.)
Anyway, that was great and got me a diploma. But now I want to try my hand at something more fun. I’m working up to write something of a Bible for completely amateur foodies–a celebration of food loving and blogging with jokes, tips, and recipes. Ironically, it’s not the book writing that’s really causing me pause, it’s the proposal and idea that this might never take off or go anywhere.
So where’s the joke? I don’t know. I’m kind of hoping that now that I’ve put this all out there, I’ll put pen to paper and actually get somewhere–not like anyone’s used pen or paper in this millenium. Or maybe the joke was back when I said that there was a 35 year old woman on crack/cocaine in that kid’s body. Yeah, there was the joke. And now I’ll spend my day getting into “the author zone”, aka never getting dressed for the day, eating cold pizza, and watching Days Of Our Live. Oh yeah, I’m on my way to the big leagues…
Write that book because I would totally buy it!
You crack me up daily with your posts…I can only imagine what a book would be like!
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I would totally pay $6.07 for that foodie book! I kid, I kid. Write it my friend!
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Go for it!
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Gosh Evan, you are so much bolder than I am! I have started a book myself, but have yet to say it out loud…oops, maybe I just did! I have a point of view and I need to get it out there! You go for it!
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I would love to see you write a book!
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Your observations about “Neville” are hilarious! My kids love iCarly. Why does he keep saying “Thank You” when they tell him “You’re 40!”
Congratulations on your book endeavor!
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I am literally speechless. Thank you so much for sharing that. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time..
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That video was hilarious hahaha!!! Thank you for sharing. And about the book, go for it! What have you got to lose?
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I can’t watch the video right now but your wording cracked me up mr!
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Oh my goodness, that video was something else. You pretty much summed up all my thoughts about that segment in your description of the kid. And it pretty much made my day. How incredibly bizarre.
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haha that kid is so crazy! I concur: he is a 35 yr old woman on crack trapped in a kids body. No better way to describe him.
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do it! i’d totally buy it.
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Oh my god, that has to be Richard Simmons’ illegitimate love child. Has to be. So funny.
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Evan.
Here is where I come clean.
I read your blog.
but not regularly.
but every time I do pop over, I find myself chuckling.
and then, in most cases, drooling.
and write down some notes for some great recipe/mashing of flavors genius idea.
and then chuckling again.
so. to say im excited about you working on this proposal would be an understatement.
im behind you 100%.
and im not going to lie.
im totally making that frozen lemonade treat.
i mean, really. that kid is WEIRD, but that treat looks delicious!
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I wonder how much alcohol Kathie Lee consumes every morning, before the “4th Hour”???
I need to be selfish here: WRITE, WRITE, WRITE & WRITE. This is a book idea & voice I could very much get behind & would actually buy.
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lol! omg that kid is so scary! i’d be fumbling all over myself!
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